Rosewicket Wicca Coven | A haven for all Wiccan Teens and adults alike!

Wicca Jokes

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Q: If a Witch practices on the beach, is she a Sandwich?

Q: What's Wiccan, flies around, and makes honey?
A: The Blessed Bee!

Q: What do you say to an angry witch?
A: Ribbit

Q: What's the difference between a New Ager and a Pagan?
A: A decimal point. An item you'll pay $300 to a New Ager for, you can get from a local Pagan for $30.

Q: How do you tell a New Age witch from a NeoPagan Witch?
A: You throw them both in the water. The NeoPagan Witch will float, whereas the New Age Witch will sink under the weight of all their overpriced crystals....

Q: What happens when a Ceremonial Magician gets angry?
A: He goes Qua-ballistic

Funny Phrases

What do ya' call 13 Witches in a hot tub?

Self-Cleaning Coven

Get a taste for religion, Lick a Witch!

The Goddess is alive and she ate my homework.

Please hold. All muses are busy right now, but your inspiration is important to us...

How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Can't say. It's oathbound

How many Alexandrians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Same number as Gardnerians.

Q: What kind of furniture does a Goddess worshipper prefer?

A: Wicker

Q: Why did the Wiccan novitiate give up pork?

A: She thought the Rede said, "Chew what you will, but ham?--none."

What's the difference between New Age and Pagan?

About $500.00 a weekend.

How many Dianacs does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but that bulb has really got to want to change

How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?

None -- if a candle was good enough for Gramma it's good enough for me!

Q: What is a witch's favorite snack?

A: PAN pizza

Q: What's a witch's favorite subject in school?

A: SPELLing.

WHY M&M'S ARE WICCAN:

* MM = Merry Meet*

Round shape for wheel of the year, cycle of seasons*

Skins are different colors, but the inside is the same chocolate, because we are all related.*

Associations with the colors: Red = South, Green = West, Dark Brown = North, Yellow = East, Orange = For the Solar God, Light Brown = For the Earth Mother (Copper Woman)

* Rotate the M & M: M = 13th letter of alphabet, and there are 13 witches in a coven

3 = Triple Goddess, three phases of moon W = Witchcraft, Wiccan E = Enlightenment, Enchantment of chocolate*

"Melt in your mouth, not in your hand"--God/dess's love must be experienced directly to appreciate. Also, God/dess will take care of you.*

Sweetness to remind us of how sweet the love of the God and Goddess is!

Sign in a Wiccan Bookstore: "No Shoplifting! Offenders will be Possessed! Second-time Offenders will be Re-Possessed!"

Q: How many Druids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in stone circles.

Q: How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Thirteen; one to hold the bulb, and twelve to drink enough to make the room spin.

Q: How many ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One; he stands still with the bulb, and the universe revolves around him.

How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.

- A skeptic goes in to see a fortune teller. "You are the father of 2 children," the fortune teller says. "That's what you think! I'm the father of 3 children!," says the man. "That's what you think," says the fortune teller.

How many light bulbs does it take to change a gardnerian?

None, they can do it all by themselves, thank you very much!!

Practice safe hex

" What do pagans put their trash in? ans: a wiccar basket